DLF Study Circles

The Ethic of Restraint

June 30th, 2007

On Saturday, 16th June 2007, 15 members gathered together at my residence in Jos-Nigeria for a Study Circle dialogue on the Dalai Lama’s Ethics for the New Millennium. The study centered on the sixth chapter of the Ethics for the New Millennium titled, “The Ethic of Restraint”. It was the second time in one year that we studied this chapter, due to popular demand and interest, and considering the great significance of the message and concepts in that chapter. Above all, we wanted to further deepen our understanding and appreciation of the keys issues, ideas and recommendations the Dalai Lama made in that chapter of the book. Also, during our first study of the chapter, Paul Emenike had requested a repeat study, saying that it was for him, the most challenging and most demanding of all. His request received overwhelming support and endorsement of other Study Circle members, which was why we came back from Chapter 13 to re-study chapter 6. The study was very lively, interesting and fun-filled.

The Ethic of Restraint, which we also called the Dalai Lama’s teaching on “Self-control”, proffers a two-pronged approach for developing human compassion which is the foundation for genuine happiness. These include the restraining of those factors inimical to, and which inhibit compassion, as well as the cultivation of those factors conducive to and supportive for the development and nurturing of compassion. In this Chapter of the Ethics for the New Millennium, His Holiness the Dalai Lama speaks directly to the heart and mind, “from which all our actions spring”. He then likens the undisciplined mind to a wild, rampaging and destructive elephant and also states that negative impulses of the mind, including afflictive emotions constitute major obstacles to our basic aspirations for genuine happiness and is the source of pain and suffering in our world today.

The Ethic of Restraint calls us to reflect very profoundly on our lives, exercise self-control and discipline over our thoughts and actions, ensuring that we think creatively and positively and implement only those actions that benefit fellow human beings, our environment and the world in which we live. The Dalai Lama challenges us all in this chapter of the Ethics for the New Millennium to deliberately cultivate a habit of inner discipline and self-control over our minds, thoughts and emotions, failure of which would lead to devastating and damaging consequences, both to ourselves, to others and the world we inhabit.

There was a moment for deep reflection followed by individual discussions and sharing based on practical and personal life experiences. Members were particularly moved to tears when Peter Chimezie shared his personal experience of how deeply-rooted anger destroys friendship and undermines genuine happiness. He said it began with a simple misunderstanding with his wife at home. He was very upset that his wife refused to obey his instructions. This made him so angry that he beat her up to the point of comma, and he ended up also fighting and insulting everyone in his office throughout that week. He soon discovered that people were running away from him and not wanting to see him. The experience he said caused him and those around him so much pain and sadness.

Entry Filed under: Ethical Issues